10 Ways to Tell You're Slipping

Joe McKeever

source:CrosswAlk

It's surprising how God's people awaken one day and suddenly realize they have fallen away from the closeness they used to enjoy with the Lord. The signs have been there all along, but they were not paying attention.

 

Here are some tests I have discovered for spotting signs of slippage in my own walk with the Lord, evidence that I'm losing the intimacy with Him that always meant so much in my personal life.

 

10. You know you're slipping when the big thing you look forward to on a Sunday is a football game.

 

9. You know you're slipping when reading the Bible no longer excites you, angers you, or challenges you.

 

8. You know you're slipping when you finally get up off the couch and get involved in some ministry the Lord has been laying on your heart and the first thing you do is start criticizing all the other couch potatoes who are only doing the same thing you have been doing all this time.

 

7. You know you're slipping when, after slacking off in your tithing over the past year, instead of feeling guilty, you find yourself criticizing the regular tithers for their self-righteous and legalistic attitudes.

 

6. You know you're slipping when you can read the Ten Commandments and give yourself a passing grade on all of them.

 

5. You know you're slipping when you can go a whole day without praying and it not bother you one bit.

 

4. You know you're slipping when you can have a dirty thought and justify it as "what normal humans do."

 

3. You know you're slipping when you feel a nudging from the Holy Spirit to speak to that person or give to this one or make a phone call to another and you squelch it.

 

2. You know you're slipping when you decide to reward yourself for doing well by skipping your Bible reading and prayer for that day.

 

1. You know you're really, really slipping when the problem of slipping doesn't cause you great concern.

 

Dr. Joe McKeever is a Preacher, Cartoonist, and the Director of Missions for the Baptist Association of Greater New Orleans.

What Drains Your Energies? (MUST READ :) )

Joe McKeever

source: Cwalk

Rebellious children sap the energies of parents, leaving them with no will, no time, and no strength for outside interests or ministries. The question before the class today, students, is: "What depletes your energies for God?"

 

As usual, I'll get us started. At the end, leave your own contributions to the list. Our hope is that someone will see himself in this and learn that a certain practice has been robbing them of their service to the Lord and will return to the Father. Luke 15:18 comes to mind. "I will arise and go to my Father."

 

Here are my top ten energy-depleters:

 

10. Compromise.

You're doing something displeasing to the Lord and you know it. The guilt lingers and weighs you down. When you try to read your Bible, pray, or worship, the fog is so thick you could cut it. God seems far away, and you know without being told it's because you moved. You're being torn down the middle and it's a miserable feeling.

 

Isaiah 59:1-2 comes to mind. "Your sins have separated you." Confess them and move back closer.

 

 

9. Nay-sayers.

The discouragers around you are constantly pointing out that you cannot do this, you are not the Christian you ought to be, the Bible cannot be understood, your prayers never go beyond the ceiling, and your pitiful offering amounts to nothing. To make matters worse, sometimes that negative voice hounding us is our own. You lose heart and want to give up.

 

Psalm 103:1-5 comes to mind. "Bless the Lord, O my soul." Speak to yourself words of faith. Believe your faith and doubt your doubts.

 

 

8. Nit-pickers.

A family member, a colleague in the office, or a so-called friend has taken it as their personal calling to remind you of your failures in living up to the standards you claim. Your clothes do not match, you need a haircut, why do you waste your time on those books or that writer or that church, why aren't you exercising more, you're putting on weight, and I don't think you're right for this. Of course, he tells you this for your own good. You leave your friend's presence feeling worthless and hopeless.

 

Philippians 4:8 comes to mind. "Whatsoever things are true, think on these things." Choose where your mind will land and come to rest and what it will feed upon.

 

 

7. Time-wasters.

A few years ago, we would have named television as the biggest time-waster. It still is for many, but these days, the tube has lots of competition: the computer, computer games, the telephone, worthless reading materials, shopping, mall-crawling, and such. Each person has his own battlefield in this regard. But it's not just the time; the problem is that it robs you of your energy for God or doing good or relating to other people.

 

Luke 18:1 comes to mind. "We ought always to pray and not to lose heart." The old hymn told us to "Take Time to Be Holy." It takes time.

 

 

6. Starvation.

When you're really hungry, instead of pausing for dinner, you gulp down a soft drink and a bag of chips. Now, you have stopped the hunger but you're starving your body. A few minutes later, your wife or mother calls you to dinner. You beg off; you're not hungry. You dare not admit what you just did. That foolish scenario happens spiritually, too.

 

Try this experiment. After watching two hours of television--especially sitcoms of the type the networks are running these nights--get up and go get your Bible and read a couple of chapters. You'll have to make yourself do it. After a steady diet of mental junk food, you have no appetite for real nourishment.

 

Matthew 4:4 comes to mind. "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God." And Psalm 34:8 "O taste and see that the Lord is good." You need to feed your soul if you expect to have any energy for God.

 

 

5. Fatigue.

You're doing good work; you're just doing so much of it that you're exhausted. When tired, you get irritable and are no fun to be around. You end up having to force yourself to do your spiritual activities. It's not an admission of weakness to confess you have physical limitations, that you need 8 hours of sleep at night and maybe a little rest in the daytime and a vacation once in a while.

 

Mark 6:31 comes to mind. "Come ye apart and rest for a while." And Matthew 11:28-30: "Come unto me all you who labor and are heavy laden."

 

 

4. Depression.

You are a Christian, one who believes your Bible and has the Holy Spirit, so how could you be depressed? Ever say that to yourself? The roots of depression (mental, emotional, whatever) are many and complex. You might need to remind yourself that some of the finest Christians ever to walk the planet have battled depression. You have good company. Those believers made the same discovery you have made, that sometimes you just have to get up and go on with your day while depressed, that you don't dare give in to it. Missionary leader and inspirational writer Elisabeth Elliot has said that when she's depressed, her method for dealing with it is: "Do the next thing." She does not make a long list of tasks to accomplish that day, but does the next thing before her, then she looks around and decides what is next, and so forth.

Habakkuk 3:17-19 comes to mind. "Though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines... yet I will exult in the Lord." Praise Him anyway.

 

3. Rebellion.

Compromise is one thing; you rationalize a sin and turn a blind eye toward a practice you know is not wise and is hindering your spiritual life. But rebellion is another matter altogether. In rebellion, you drop all pretense about wanting to do the right thing. You enthrone your self and devote your life to pleasing only you. This really gets scary when you're in the Lord's service and draw a paycheck from a church or religious organization and yet are in rebellion against the Lord. I've been there; I know. People are looking to you for spiritual direction and expecting to hear God's voice through you, but what they are receiving is shallowness and staleness, negativism and putdowns, all bubbling up from the acid eating away at your soul.

 

Revelation 3:4-5 comes to mind. "I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember... and repent." The prodigal son story of Luke 15 applies.

 

2. Laziness.

Sloth. Idleness. Lethargy. Listlessness. Dullness. Slackness. Find yourself in any of these? You just can't make yourself get up and do anything spiritual such as reading the Bible or praying meaningfully or volunteering for a service project. You "just don't feel like it." Sound familiar? There's a law of physics you may be familiar with. Inertia is the tendency of an object at rest to remain there, and a moving object to continue moving. Now, it takes energy to get the object moving and it takes energy to stop it once it's in motion. Like priming a pump, we use energy to get energy. This pertains, whether speaking of the physical or the spiritual.

 

Proverbs 6:6-11 comes to mind. "How long wilt thou sleep, O thou sluggard?" Wake up. Get up.

 

1. Satan. The enemy himself.

You wondered if we would get to that? The unholy trinity of the world-the-flesh-and-the-devil are always at work to discourage believers from living the life Christ commands and we profess. The devil has had longer to study human nature than we, so he knows methods we have yet to discover. He uses detours, overloads, and even good works to keep us from doing the best things. He uses our diversions to sap our time, people to sap our joy, and work to sap our energies. Our time gone, our spirits depleted, and our energies sapped, we decide not to read our Bible tonight, to skip on our prayer time, and to get our rest tomorrow by sleeping late and skipping church. Chalk up another victory for the roaring lion who walks about.

 

I Peter 5:6-9 comes to mind. You know what it says. "We are not ignorant of his devices." 2 Corinthians 2:11

 

Now... take a moment and give us your energy-for-God sappers. What have you found that depletes your desire to get up and serve the Lord?

 

Dr. Joe McKeever is a Preacher, Cartoonist, and the Director of Missions for the Baptist Association of Greater New Orleans.

 

The Focus of Ministry is Focus

Ron Walters

source: Crosswa;l

fo-cus (fo-kus) noun, [Latin, hearth] 1. A focal point. 2. To concentrate. 3. A center of interest or activity. 4. To sharpen or clearly define. 5. The point at which an object is most clearly seen.

 

To the casual observer it might appear that Jesus was nomadic, wandering the dusty roads from village to village, dispensing his humanitarian miracles and pithy sayings. A first century Johnny Appleseed who scattered goodness seeds and golden rules like confetti. A kind of half-Houdini, half-Gandhi. A utilitarian genie who attracted disciples like stray cats.

 

But nothing could be further from the truth. Jesus was the most focused leader and strategic planner of all time. He was a genius in organizational development and human resources. He specialized in visionary management. The world has never known a better synergist, the church being exhibit A. His methods, though ministerial, have been the model for industry and commerce for hundreds of years.

 

His focus was constantly challenged, but he never wavered. He was harassed by the religious: "The Pharisees came out and began to argue with Him." His disciples volunteered new ideas: "...Command fire to come down from heaven to consume them." Even His family questioned his actions: "Why have you treated us this way?" His hometown friends, the ones who had watched Him grow up, "took offense at Him." Satan, too, took his best shot. "All the kingdoms of the world, and their glory, will I give you if you fall down and worship me." But Jesus was resolute with focus.

 

 

Though simple, Jesus' ministerial focus was profound and permanent. It has served as the template for every true disciple since.

 

First, Jesus focused His mission in doing God's will. Nothing was more important to Him. "My priority is to do the will of Him who sent me, and to accomplish His work." John Stott, in The Preacher's Portrait wrote, "I can't help wondering if this is why there are so few preachers God is using today. There are plenty of popular preachers but not many who preach in the power of the Holy Spirit." Stott wonders if preaching God's will is too costly for the preacher. It was costly for Jesus, too. But He remained focused.

 

Second, Jesus focused His topics of conversations. Every dialogue was deliberate. No words were wasted or lost; they were customized for each audience. "The words which you gave to me, I have given to them." His material was fresh and applicable. To the hurting, He spoke of hope. At a funeral, He spoke of life. To the blind, he spoke of light. To the leper, He offered His touch. To the theologians, He spoke theology. To normal people, He sounded normal. For everyone he put the cookies on the bottom shelf. And they loved Him for it.

 

Third, Jesus focused His message to a target audience. "I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance." He gravitated to the needy and the growing. He did not seek out the comfortable or stagnant. His ministry was one of depth, not breadth. He would hideaway with His students for in-depth training. He commanded others to "tell no one." He was unshaken when thousands walked out during His message claiming "this is too difficult." On the night before the crucifixion, Jesus had an audience with numerous Jewish and Roman power brokers "yet He opened not His mouth."

 

Finally, Jesus focused His energies toward His replacements. "As you have sent me into the world, I also have sent them into the world." He chose an even-dozen from hundreds of candidates. For three years they stopped, looked, and listened. They heard it all, saw it all, and were involved in dozens of miraculous works. Jesus held nothing back from them. He schooled them in every phase of ministry. They saw him laugh, weep, teach, pray, challenge, rest, serve, heal, answer, and lead. When it was their turn they never asked "How?" They were focused.

 

Our work is demanding but the model of our Teacher is simple: Focus.

 

Ron Walters
Vice President of Church Relations

Speak Your Spouse's Language

Whitney Hopler

source: Cw 

Your husband seems to say one thing yet do another. Your wife seems to expect you to read her mind. You and your spouse are frustrated that what you heard each other say wasn't what was meant. Sometimes it can be like your spouse is speaking a different language from yours -- one you don't understand.

But you can learn to speak your spouse's language when you work on communication skills in your marriage. Here's how:

Make your marriage a covenant, not just a contract. God intended marriage to be much more than the contractual relationship it typically is in our society. Viewed as a contract, marriage is simply about what and your spouse agree to do for each other (and if either of you fail, the relationship can be canceled). But God designed marriage to be a covenant, a permanent relationship that's built on unconditional love. The first step in effectively communicating with your spouse is for both of you to view your marriage as a covenant. Be willing to love your spouse with a steadfast love. Decide to focus on what you can do for your spouse, instead of on what you want your spouse to do for you.

Realize that communication leads to intimacy. The better you and your spouse communicate, the closer your relationship will become. Aim to build intimacy by focusing on your communication skills. Think of how loved you each will feel in a truly intimate marriage, and let that thought motivate you to improve the way you communicate.

Plan a daily sharing time with your spouse. Schedule a time each day or night to give each other a few minutes of undivided attention.

Take turns asking each other to share three experiences that happened in your lives today and how you feel about them.

Change unhealthy communication patterns. Instead of trying to achieve peace at any price, recognize that conflict is necessary to deal with issues and find solutions to problems. Rather than blaming your spouse for everything, ask God to show you how you've contributed to problems. Then take responsibility for your own failures, confess them to God, and ask for His help to change. Instead of expressing only your reasonable thoughts and hiding your feelings, realize that you must share your emotions as well as your logic if you're going to build true intimacy with your spouse. Rather than ignoring your spouse's offensive actions or comments, hoping that they'll go away, realize that the problems between you will never go away on their own. The only way to get them to go away is to work together to solve them.

Raise the level of your communication. Get to know the five different levels of communication. Then aim to go to the highest level -- level five -- with your spouse. Level one is hallway talk like "Fine, how are you?". Level two is reporter talk like "Just give me the facts." Level three is intellectual talk like "Do you know what I think?". Level four is emotional talk like "Do you know how I feel?". Level five is the most intimate -- loving, genuine truth talk like "Let's be honest." On this level, you can speak the truth in love to each other. You can be honest but not condemning, and open but not demanding. You can give each other the freedom to think and feel differently about issues, situations, and people. You work to understand each other's thoughts and feelings, looking for ways to grow together in spite of your differences.

Get to know yourself well. You must know yourself before you can share yourself with your spouse. Train yourself to become more attentive to your five senses (seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, and tasting) to be able to fully experience situations. Pay closer attention to the way you interpret your experiences. Notice how the way you interpret experiences affects your emotions and your behavior. Consider what your spouse may have said or done lately that you interpreted in a wrong way.  Ask God to help you avoid jumping to conclusions about situations in your marriage, and instead take the time to find out what truly motivated your spouse to speak or act in certain ways. Get to know your emotions, what triggers them, and how the way you feel affects the way you behave.

 

Recognize your desires, and the different values you place on each of them. Consider whether your desires are good or bad, loving or selfish -- and how those desires and their varying intensities are affecting your marriage. Then come to understand how your behavior reveals the reality of your choices. When you act a certain way toward your spouse, you're making a choice, whether you're fully aware of it or not. If you pay more attention to the choices you're making -- even at the subconscious level -- you can change your behavior by changing your choices. Ask God to help you integrate your feelings and desires with your intellect and your will. Instead of letting your changing emotions rule your life, decide to live by the timeless truths of the Bible. Pray for the strength you need to deal with your emotions maturely, so you can remain committed to your marriage even during tough times.

Learn the art of self-revelation. Once you discover who you truly are, be willing to share yourself with your spouse in order to build intimacy in your marriage. Practice telling your spouse about your experiences, interpretations, feelings, desires, and behavior. The more you reveal about yourself, the less your spouse has to guess, and the better he or she can understand you -- which will draw the two of your closer together.

Clarify your priorities and goals. Aim to work with your spouse to grow together into the people God wants you become. Think and pray about your current priorities in life: your faith, family, friends, work, church, personal enrichment, etc.  Consider whether or not each one reflects what's important to God. A successful marriage depends on both you and your spouse bringing your priorities in line with God's priorities. Once you and your spouse agree with God and each other about priorities, it's time to set goals to help you accomplish your priorities. Be sure to make your goals specific, realistic, and measurable. Set goals for the growth you'd like to see happen in your marriage, and keep in mind that growth usually happens gradually, so be patient with each other as long as you're making some progress. Discuss your goals with your spouse regularly to keep each other motivated and on track.

Make time for what's most important. You and your spouse may be very busy, but how much are you actually accomplishing? Examine the ways you're currently using your time. Write down how you spend your time over the course of a week; then analyze the information to decide what to eliminate. Delegate some of your responsibilities, such as by having your children take over certain household chores or hiring someone to help with tasks like doing your taxes or mowing your lawn. Schedule time to be your spouse in focused ways, rather than hoping that you can do so spontaneously and having other activities take over. Encourage each other to take time regularly to be alone, and use that time to think, pray, and reflect on life.

Identify your differences and make them assets. Notice the many differences between your personality and that of your spouse: one of you likes to stay up late and one likes to get up early, one likes to save money and one likes to spend, one talks a lot and the other is quiet, one is neat and one is messy, etc. Remember that God has created each of you to be unique. No matter how much your spouse's different approach to life may irritate you, decide not to view your differences as liabilities. If you work together to discover how your differences complement each other, those differences can become assets, strengthening your marriage. Don't condemn each other for being different. Instead, ask God to help you make the most of your differences so that they'll enhance your lives together. Whenever you and your spouse notice how one of your strengths is helping the other in an area in which he or she is weak, thank each other.

Change defensive attitudes. Remember that your spouse is not your enemy; he or she is your ally. Figure out what's causing you to feel defensive in your marriage: perhaps self-esteem issues, unresolved conflict, or physical deprivation. Understand how you usually express defensiveness: through verbal retaliation, withdrawal, or speaking to your spouse through your children instead of directly. Whenever you catch yourself reacting defensively, learn from the experience by asking yourself: "What emotions did I feel when I responded defensively?", "What message did my spouse's statement communicate to me?", "What did my response, verbally or behaviorally, communicate to my spouse?", and "What did my response reveal about me?". Also consider how larger issues in your marriage may be contributing to your defensiveness, and discuss those issues with your spouse. Then explore ways of relating to each other more constructively. For example, when you want your spouse to do something, approach him or her with a request instead of a demand. Also, rather than saying "You should ..." or "You ought ..." say "In my opinion ...".  The more you and your spouse feel that you value and believe in each other, the less defensive you'll each become.

Build intimacy. Ask God to help both you and your spouse be transparent and open with one another so you'll enjoy the freedom to know and be known. Make sure you're each experiencing intimacy with God, since you can't be experience intimacy with each other until you each are close to God first. Communicate with God often through prayer, and communicate with your spouse honestly and openly each day. Confess your own selfishness whenever you recognize it and ask for mercy and forgiveness whenever you need it.

 

Ask God to pour out His love for your spouse through you and make you an agent of positive change in your spouse's life. Over time, work to regain trust that has been lost in your relationship. Develop stronger emotional intimacy by expressing love, respect, and appreciation to your spouse more often. Build stronger intellectual intimacy by learning how to listen to each other well and discussing ideas in ways that respect each other when your opinions differ. Develop stronger sexual intimacy by working together until you both find mutual fulfillment in your physical relationship. Stay committed to each other, refraining from looking outside your marriage for sexual fulfillment. Communicate often and openly about your sexual needs and desires. Look out for your spouse's best interests in other areas of your lives, too, to grow the kind of love you need to fuel a healthy sexual connection. Build stronger spiritual intimacy by encouraging each other to become more like Christ every day. Pray together, talk about what God is doing in each of your lives, study the Bible together, and serve God together through your local church and in other ways as He leads you. Dream together about the future, and ask God to make His dreams for your marriage come true.

Published January 14, 2008

Adapted from Now You're Speaking My Language, copyright 2007 by Gary Chapman. Published by B&H Publishing Group, Nashville, Tn., www.bhpublishinggroup.com.           

Gary Chapman has traveled extensively around the world challenging couples to pursue healthy, growing marriages. Since 1979, Gary has written more than 20 books. His book The Five Love Languages has sold 4 million copies in English alone and has been translated into 36 languages. He has also appeared on several television and radio programs and has his own daily radio program called "A Love Language Minute" that can be heard on more than 100 radio stations across the United States. In addition to his busy writing and seminar schedule, Gary Chapman is a senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, where he has served for 36 years. Gary and his wife, Karolyn, have been married for 45 years, have two adult children, and two grandchildren.
 

How to Live for the Greatest Cause

Whitney Hopler

Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer

cause – you'll find meaning and satisfaction. 

Living your life just for yourself will ultimately leave you unfulfilled. But if you choose to live for something bigger than yourself – a cause – you'll find meaning and satisfaction. 

The greatest cause of all is the cause of Christ. That's the cause God created you for, and when you devote your life to it, everything you do takes on eternal significance.

 

Here's how you can live for the greatest cause of all:

 

Discover your purpose. Your appearance on this planet at this time in history isn't just by chance. God planned for you to be here, and He hopes you'll fulfill a specific purpose during your lifetime. Reject any notion that your life is merely a random happening, and set out to understand more about God's kingdom and the unique part you're meant to play in it. Ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you. Instead of looking at your life in terms of what you think you lack, consider the amazing reality that you've been born for the greatest cause of all, and trust God to empower you to do whatever He is calling you to do.

 

Plant yourself in a church that will nourish you. Find a healthy church in your area and get fully involved in it. Don't just attend casually; develop close friendships with the people there, participate in the activities, and serve wholeheartedly. As you do, God will release more and more of your potential as a person. You'll grow in vital ways that will help you fulfill your purpose. The church is the vehicle through which God's kingdom will take hold in your life and move you forward into what God wants you to do.

 

Connect your vision to God's cause. Make sure the vision that guides your life supports the cause of Christ. Surrender your own agenda to God and pursue His plans for your life. Base all your decisions on what's most important to Christ rather than just on what seems like a good idea to you. As exciting as your own vision might be, it will lack power unless you connect it to God's cause. Once your own vision aligns with the cause, however, you'll be able to accomplish much more than you could ever imagine.

 

Unite with others around the cause. Work with other people who are single-minded in their vision to serve Christ and His church. Confront and overcome division, wrong motives, disloyalty, and disunity. Do all you can to promote unity so God's purposes can stand and His kingdom can advance on earth.

 

Approach life from an eternal perspective. Keep in mind that your life can impact the future in powerful ways. If you're living faithfully, everything about you can provoke people to think about eternity. And if you're serving as God leads you, all of your efforts have eternal significance. Consider what kind of legacy you want to leave on earth. Every day, invest your time and energy into what matters most and don't let lesser pursuits distract you from what's most important.

 

Live as someone who has been called, not just saved. God has saved you not just to spend an eternity with Him in heaven, but also to make a positive difference on earth. Every situation and every person you encounter presents a fresh opportunity to live out your God-given calling. Let your gratitude for the salvation God has given you motivate you to reach out to others who need salvation. Be as active as you can in serving as God calls you to serve.

 

Use what God has given you. Discover, develop, and fully use your natural talents and spiritual gifts. God has given them to you to help you fulfill specific purposes in His kingdom. No matter what you're especially good at doing – comforting hurting people, working with numbers, creating art, etc. – decide to do it for God's glory as often as you can. Don't underestimate the power of your abilities. Seize each opportunity God presents to use them and look forward to what God will do as a result. If you're not serving much already, start out being faithful in small acts of service, and expect God to eventually open doors to larger opportunities to serve.

 

Work hard. Hard work can serve as the launching pad for God's purpose for your life to take off to great heights. Instead of taking the easy road, commit to working hard every day so that others will notice your dedication to serving God. Whatever kind of work you do, do it wholeheartedly, knowing that it has eternal significance since God has called you to do it. Ask God to help you get rid of stress, striving, emptiness, and anxiety related to your work and approach it with joy instead. Pray for God to use your work as a conduit through which to pour His love into people's lives. Look beyond your work tasks themselves to the results they can accomplish – making the world a better place. Enjoy the blessings that come about because of your hard work.

 

Stay focused on your purpose. Focusing on God's purpose for your life will propel you into effective action every day and prevent wasting precious time and energy on distractions. Keep in mind that your life isn't meant to be a to-do list of competing priorities; it's meant to a unified life that's centered on God, with everything you do flowing naturally from your relationship with Him. Don't let your perceived shortcomings hold you back from the future God has for you. Trust God to help you do absolutely anything He calls you to do. No matter how busy you are, if you focus on God's purpose for your life, He will replenish your energy and give you peace. No matter what struggles you've gone through in the past, pursuing God's purpose will bring you the healing you need to overcome your wounds and limitations.

 

Use your time well. It will take time to build a life powerfully lived for the cause of Christ, so don't give up when you get frustrated about something in your life not progressing as well as you'd like. Every day, freshly devote yourself to the cause. Recognize that each new day is a gift from God that is valuable in shaping your destiny and contributions to the world. Expect different seasons of time to bring different experiences into your life. Rejoice during the good times, and lean into God during the hard times, learning how to trust Him more. Notice the extraordinary things God is doing in the ordinary moments of your life and seek to join Him in His work. Remain committed to fulfilling God's purpose in your life at all times.

 

Use your money well. If you use your money just for yourself, it will come to master you by stealing your affections away from everything else. But if you use it to help you pursue God's plans for your life, it will serve you as a valuable tool to accomplish what matters most. Be generous when you give and wise when you invest, so you won't squander any of the potential you have to achieve great results for God's kingdom with your money. Remember that God is the one who has given you the ability to earn money; thank Him by managing it as well as you possibly can.

 

Get rid of selfishness. Live beyond your personal desires by surrendering your will daily to God. Trust in God's plans for your life rather than trying to force your own agenda. Ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you, and derive confidence from that so you won't be preoccupied with your own desires and will be able to accomplish much more than you could ever imagine yourself.

 

Stand on your convictions. Hold steadfastly to your beliefs, refusing to give in to the world's pressures to compromise. Rather making yourself vulnerable to having others change you, pray for God to give you the strength to lead others to change. Become an agent of positive change in the world, shining Christ's light into dark places. Get to know the Bible well, letting its truths soak into your soul so they'll be there when you need them for encouragement. Pray often for the Holy Spirit to renew your mind so you'll be thinking according to truth instead of the world's confused patterns.

 

Remain committed. Whatever challenges you face – from health issues to financial problems – if you consistently make your relationship with God your top priority, He will give you the strength you need to get through it all well. Devote yourself to God daily. Seek His healing for internal issues that can interfere with your ability to grow, confront evil, confess your sins, be reconciled to other people, and make whatever sacrifices you need to keep serving God wholeheartedly.

 

Adapted from For This I Was Born: Aligning Your Vision to God's Cause, copyright 2008 by Brian Houston. Published by Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tn., www.thomasnelson.com. 
Brian Houston and his wife, Bobbie, are the senior pastors of Australia's largest church, Hillsong Church in Sydney, which has a growing congregation of more than twenty-one thousand people. They also oversee the extended ministries that include Hillsong Music Australia, Hillsong Conference, and the Hillsong International Leadership College. Hillsong Television is also broadcast in more than 180 nations.

Submission: Insights from a Strong-Willed Wife

Debbie L. Cherry, Ph.D

Author, The Strong-Willed Wife

source: Crosswalk

"My husband is just not the leader type.  It takes him forever to make a decision.  If he won't lead then I guess I have to."

 

"I know my husband can lead because he's great at it at work.  But at home he just lets me do it all."

 

"I wouldn't mind letting my husband lead our family…as long as he does it the way I would."

 

Have you ever found yourself making comments like those?  If so, it's very likely that you are a strong-willed wife.  There are some amazingly wonderful things about being blessed with a strong-willed personality.  And as long as those traits are controlled by the Holy Spirit we strong-willed wives can bring changes to the world around us and do amazing things for the kingdom of heaven.  But those same traits can cause some serious difficulties as we are trying to have a marriage that follows God's ordained authority structure in our marriages.  As strong-willed women, we struggle to let go of control and really allow our husbands to take their God given role in our homes.  But it is something that we really have to learn to do if we want a marriage that God continues to bless.

 

Strong willed women think fast, move fast and make decisions fast, and expect others to do the same.  But when our husbands don't meet these expectations we tend to step in and do it for them.  What if your husband would be willing to make more decisions but you don't allow him the time he needs to do so?  And what if the decision he makes isn't the same one you would have made?  Would you still let his decision stand?  Many husbands may be more cautious and slow in their decision making but that doesn't mean they won't or can't lead.  A husband who has never taken the lead may need to take on this responsibility in stages, just as you will likely need to release your responsibility and control in stages.  

 

So if you are ready to start letting your strong willed personality work in your favor and really start using your personality to honor God and your husband, here's some things to help get you started as you learn to let go of control and let your husband lead:

 

1.      Talk openly with your husband about what you plan to work on:    This will help your husband know where to join you in prayer about the changes you are going to be making.  It will also help him be aware of the areas you are working on and be available to give praise and encouragement along the way.  And finally, open communication is necessary so the two of you together can identify what areas you are going to start handing the reigns over to him in first.  If you don't discuss this and you just decide to release the reigns without him knowing it's his turn to pick them up and lead, then the whole family could go running out of control with no one in the leadership role.   

 

 

2.      Stop doing everything:  Once you and your husband have talked about the areas where you both want to start making changes, then it's time to step back in those areas and give him the space and time he needs to take the lead.  As you back off, remember that over time your husband has probably become dependent on you to do it all because you always have.  So be patient and wait for him to do what he has said he will do.  How far you have to back off will be different for every marriage.  But I assure you it will be further than you are comfortable with.

 

3.      Set realistic expectations for you and your husband:  If you expect perfection (as most of us strong willed wives do) from either yourself or your husband then you are setting both of you up for disappointment.  Not only will husband not be perfect as he tries to learn about godly headship, but you also won't be perfect in your attempts to let go and let him lead.  If you set realistic expectations you will be able to see your successes as steps forward and your failures as learning experiences.

 

4.      Take ownership of your behaviors:  This means that you will have to stop blaming others, stop denying the behaviors, and stop avoiding responsibility for your behaviors.  All three of these are things that we strong-willed wives often do.  We have to learn how to take ownership of our part of the problems that come up in our relationships and when we do we need to learn to apologize and seek forgiveness for them.

 

5.      Stop criticizing:  We strong-willed wives tend to focus on our way of doing things and saying things as the right way (and sometimes the only way).  When people do it differently we feel it necessary to correct them.  But learning to control our tongue will make a huge difference in our relationship with our husbands.  The key to this step is to learn to accept your husband's differences and to understand that different does NOT mean wrong.  If you continue to criticize your husband or redo what he's done, you undermine your attempts to let him lead. 

 

6.      Praise often:  The other side of controlling your tongue is learning to give praise on a regular basis.  You need to learn to look for the good in this man that God has blessed you with, and be open with your praise.  Make a conscious effort to look for things that he does or traits that you see in him that are praiseworthy and shower him with these comments.  Say things that let him know that you trust and respect him and his ability to lead your household.  These statements will make him start to feel like the man of the house again and like the man God created him to be.

 

7.      Strive toward unity:  Biblical submission has as its ultimate goal a stronger and more intimate marital relationship.  It's about blending into one flesh and setting aside our selfish desires.  We are on the same team and working toward the same goal.  So when it comes to decisions within your home, the ultimate goal needs to be unity.  To experience this unity you will need a plan of action that the two of you have agreed upon and that keeps you moving in the same direction.  The plan can take several different forms as long as you come up with it together, both agree that it is a workable solution and then follow through with it. 

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Debbie L. Cherry, Ph.D. is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the CEO of Today's Family Treasures. http://www.tftreasures.org/

Article is adapted from her book:  The Strong-Willed Wife:  Using your personality to honor God and your husband.  NavPress, 2007.

Four Benefits of Putting Margin in Your Life

by Rick Warren

source: RWMT

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
*** *** *** ***

Here are four immediate benefits you'll receive by building margin into your life:

 

1. Peace of mind. When you're not always hurrying and worrying, you have time to think, time to relax, time to enjoy life. We had a bird come into the building one evening before service. He started singing, and it was just like we'd been given an invitation: "Just relax. Everybody except those sitting directly under the bird, relax."

 

2. Better health. Unrelenting stress harms our bodies. We all know that, yet we let it continue day after day after day. Many times we only build margin in our lives after the heart attack almost happens or does happen, or the blood pressure skyrockets. Why do we wait until our health plummets before we make this decision? Why not realize thatwe need to build some margin intoour lives now? The truth is your body needs downtime in order to heal. Race cars make pit stops occasionally in order to get repaired. You can't fix anything going 200 miles an hour. Yet, we try to repair ourselves while we're still racing through life. Margin builds in time for better health.

 

3. Stronger relationships. Lack of margin is one big reason for the collapse of the American family today. When we don't make relationships a priority and make time for each other, our relationships suffer. Relationships take time; and margin provides the time to sit and talk, to listen and enjoy one another, and to provide the comfort we each need.

 

4. Usefulness in ministry. When you're overloaded by activity, you can only think of yourself. You're in survival mode, just trying to make it through another day. But being available to God for his use makes all the difference in this world.

 

When you have no margin in your life and God taps you on the shoulder, saying, "I'd like you to do this for me," your first response isn't joy. Your first response is, "Oh, no! Another thing to do! Sorry, God – I'd like to do that, but I'm just too busy."

 

We end up resenting the great opportunities God brings into our lives. But when you have margin, you're available for God to use.
You don't have to live on overload. You don't have to live in survival mode. Begin today to build a buffer around your schedule. Then enjoy the benefits of margin and see what God does next!

 

© 2008 Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved.

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America's largest and best-known churches. In addition, Rick is author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church, which was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th Century. He is also founder of Pastors.com, a global Internet community for ministers.