The Five Stages of a Coaching Relationship

Learn what to expect, and how to react, as a small-group coach.
by Joel Comiskey

source: Christianity TOday

 

I'm sorry to say it, but no coaching relationship develops to perfect levels of openness and communication overnight. Instead, most coaches pass through predictable stages of highs and lows, which can be understood as a series of coaching stages. The following is a brief walk-through of those stages, including practical advice for growth.

 

The Romance Stage
My friend Trish told me that her husband, a doctor, was offered a prominent position at an upscale hospital in a different state. He turned it down. When they asked him why he wanted to stay at his Baltimore hospital, he responded, "I know the warts of this hospital. I don't know the problems over there."

 

For most endeavors in life, the grass really does look greener on the other side. Why? Because the brown spots are only visible up close. In the romance stage of a coaching relationship, everything is new, exciting, and green. The brown spots have not yet appeared. The cell leader is just starting out in a new adventure. She wants to win the world and multiply her cell in a few weeks. She thinks that you are the greatest coach in the world—that you can do no wrong. She's ready to drink in every word you say. Use this time to pour into your leader and prepare her for the stages to follow.

 

Advice for the romance stage:

• Enjoy it for as long as possible. Don't try to hurry through it.
  
  
• Take advantage of your leader's openness to receive homework assignments; teach as much as possible.
  
  
• Go over your coaching relationship (e.g. how often you're going to meet, evaluations, confidentiality, expectations, and so on). Clearly remind the leader of the reality and resistance stages that will follow.
  
  
• Help the leader count the cost. Remember that Jesus was constantly preparing the disciples for the tribulations that would follow.
  
  

 

The Reality Stage
Romance is normally followed by reality. Several members of the cell group aren't committed and don't attend each week. The leader invites five new people and no one shows up. The leader didn't think the results would be so sparse or that cell leadership would be so demanding.

 

Of course, the devil will do anything to foil a new leader. Peter says, "The devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith" (1 Peter 5: 8–9a).

 

Advice for the reality stage:

• Walk in grace. Love the leader. Lend a listening ear. Remind the leader that his reaction is a normal part of cell leadership.
  
  
• Do something special with the cell leader that shows selfless love.
  
  
• Gently remind the leader of the covenant commitment established in the first stage.
  
  
• Continue to offer skills training to help perfect deficient areas. New skills provide new confidence.
  
  

 

The Resistance Stage
Some have called this the "I'm not sure if I can trust you" phase. The leader is seeing brown grass everywhere and might want to flee—perhaps to another church, another program, or to a vacation from ministry. Today, long-term commitment is rare. Why not spend my free time watching TV or some other less demanding activity? the cell leader might think. The temptation is always to live for self and do less for Jesus, not more. The leader might suddenly feel a knee-jerk reaction to leave. Go somewhere else. Anywhere. As long as it is away from you and the cell.

 

Some have called this time period a "dark night of the soul." This is where the coach will need to cry out to God for the life of the cell leader. I remember when two of my leaders entered this phase. One left my coaching network completely, while the other resisted me and even became emotionally angry.

 

The good news is that this time will draw you to your knees. You'll pray more fervently than you've ever prayed. You'll enter warfare prayer for your leader and the group under her charge. Hang in there. It's Friday, but Sunday is coming.

 

 

Advice for the resistance stage:

• Pray fervently.
  
  
• Walk in grace and truth. Ask permission to speak into the person's life.
  
  
• Look for coachable moments. While in the romantic stage, the leader was open to receive information; now the leader is in the battle and might be more willing to apply that information.
  
  

 

Normally, the stage of resistance will move peacefully on to the resolve stage, but it doesn't always work out that way. Sometimes the relationship with the leader will not work. As on cell leader has said: "No one wants to feel like they've failed. But the best course of action—and the most professional—in some cases is to end the relationship." Perhaps your personalities are totally different, or philosophically there is no connection. In such cases, trust the sovereignty of God. Don't feel like a failure. God is using the situation to guide and direct you.

 

 

The Resolve Stage
The great news is that persistence and staying the course normally ends in resolve. The cell leader has learned to trust in God. She has given more time to God and feels God's presence in her life in a new, exciting way. She is planning for long-term involvement in cell ministry.

 

The resistance stage will deepen the relationship between you and the leader. You will know traits of your leader you would never have known during the romantic stage, when everything was surreal and pleasant. Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." You and your team of leaders will begin to behave more like a battle-proven army, rather than fresh recruits who have played simulator games. You've now been in the battle and your camaraderie is enhanced by it.

 

Advice during the resolve stage:

• Take advantage of this time to deepen your relationship with the leader by confirming lessons learned in the trenches.
  
  
• Prepare the leader for the time when he or she will coach and disciple new cell leaders.
  
  
• Bask in the deepening friendship of hard fought battles.
  
  

 

You will mostly likely enjoy this phase. You'll feel a release of pressure. You'll sense a glimmer of hope. You'll feel an emotional resurgence. It's time to move on to the reward stage.

 

 

The Reward Stage
The reward is seeing the fruits of your labor. The gain comes after the pain. But it does come. The cell leader passed through the dark night of the soul. She weathered the storms and has a multiplication leader who has successfully given birth. You are now a coach with a grandchild and there is a sweet peace in your soul.

 

Coaching your own leader to successfully give birth to a new cell group is one of the greatest joys on earth. You'll feel like you truly are participating in the Great Commission of Jesus Christ to go and make disciples (Matthew 28:18–20).

 

Yet the greatest reward of all is to bring glory and honor to Jesus Christ and to see his church strengthened because you have faithfully coached those who are coaching others. In a very real sense, you'll receive the same reward of the shepherd that Peter refers to: "Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be … . And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away" (1 Peter 5:2–4).

 

—Joel Comiskey; excerpted from How to be a GREAT Cell Group Coach. Used with permission. Published by TOUCH Publications, Houston, Texas. 1-800-735-5865.

One Prayer God Loves to Answer

Austin Pryor

source: CW

"Lord, use me more!" What Christian doesn't want to come to the end of his or her life and know that theirs was a life well spent for God and His kingdom? But give thought to how you pray, my friends. Yes, it's a wonderful prayer because it shows your heart is pointed in the direction of God's glory. But it can also be a dangerous prayer--to make us more usable God doesn't make us stronger, He makes us weaker.  

 

God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.... Therefore, as it is written: 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord'" (1 Corinthians 1:27-31).

 

God doesn't use the strong. He uses the weak and the lowly. That may be what we're inviting into our lives when we pray, "Lord, use me more!" He wants us dependent on Him, not on our strengths, our talents, our experiences.

 

Did you ever stop to think that when Moses thought he was usable (Exodus 2:11-15), he wasn't. And when he thought he wasn't, he was. After 40 years out of the spotlight, God decided Moses was usable. When He called on Moses to serve Him, Moses offered nothing but excuses: I'm nobody (Exodus 3:11), I have no authority (3:13),

 

I'm not persuasive (4:1), I have no speaking skills (4:10), and I'd just rather not do it (4:13). He was inadequate for the task and knew it, just the kind of man God was looking for.

 

Flash forward a few thousand years. In the early 1980s, I was enjoying success as a money manager. I was active in several parachurch ministries and frequently gave my testimony at evangelistic outreaches. I was able to give to the Lord's work. The "abundant life" was good. When I prayed, "Lord, use me more" I wanted more of the same. But in order to greatly multiply my usefulness, the Lord didn't give me more of the same. First, He had to give me more of something else--weakness, humility, dependency. He took me through many trials where I learned in new ways that God's strength is made perfect in weakness. It was a desert experience that lasted for several years. (For the story of my desert adventures, see Chapter 30 in my book.)

 

In 1990, circumstances seemed to indicate that the Lord was leading me to begin the Sound Mind Investing newsletter. As often is the case when the Lord is taking you into new areas of trusting Him, the circumstances were not promising. I had no subscribers. I had no experience in publishing. I had nothing in my background that suggested I could make a living with my writing. I had no financial backers and no start-up capital other than what I could borrow on my home. Like Moses, I was facing a situation where success seemed unlikely.

 

It would have been easy to question if I was hearing the Lord correctly, but my wife Susie had no doubts. With her encouragement, I placed an order with a printer for 500 copies of our first issue. That was 18 years ago. Since that time, God has generously used Sound Mind Investing to assist tens of thousands of Christians as they seek to honor Him with their stewardship and giving. To Him be the glory; great things He has done!

 

Among the lessons I've learned, these stand out:

(1) To be more usable, we must become even more dependent. This can be painful for awhile.

(2) Knowing Him better is worth the pain.

(3) He has a timetable for accomplishing this. Chances are, it's not the same as ours.

(4) "Without faith it is impossible to please God..." is one of the most daunting verses in Scripture.

(5) He chooses how we serve Him and plants us where he wills.

(6) The door of usefulness is open to everybody. If the qualification is weakness, we can all qualify.  

 

Ready for a great adventure? Ask God to use you more.

 

© Sound Mind Investing

Published since 1990, Sound Mind Investing is America's best-selling financial newsletter written from a biblical perspective.  Visit the Sound Mind Investing website .

Winning Over Worry

 

5 strategies to stop fretting

Ginger Kolbaba

source: TCW

 

Ever since I can remember, my mind worked overtime thinking about all the dreadful events that could happen to my loved ones or me. I worried about major tragedies: plane crashes, rape, cancer. I even worried about minor situations: missing a payment due date, wearing the wrong thing to a social outing, having bad breath. However, most of those what-ifs were never realized.

 

Until, that is, the day my worst dread became a reality: My father was diagnosed with cancer. Finally my worries were justified. But now I had to decide: Who would be my companion through this crisis? Anxiety—or God?

 

While praying for my dad, I recalled Jesus' words in Luke 12:25-26: "Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not! And if worry can't do little things like that, what's the use of worrying over bigger things?" (NLB). This message comes from the man who often didn't know where he'd eat or sleep; who constantly endured public criticism from many important people; who knew he'd die an excruciatingly painful death. I was ashamed. I didn't want anxiety to cripple me. I wanted to trust God and experience peace. "OK, God," I prayed through clenched teeth, "I'm turning Dad's health over to you. I'm trusting you want the best for my family. And I won't worry about something I can't control." That prayer was the toughest I ever prayed.

 

To follow through on my prayer, I began searching for strategies to rid myself of worry and fill my life with hope.

 

 

[1] Pray in faith.
 

For me, prayer wasn't the problem. The problem was telling God my worries and asking for his help, then holding on to them, like a tug-of-war. I kept reminding God to be as concerned about the situation as I was.

 

When I progressed from my 20s to 30s with no husband, I grew panicky. Oh, how I prayed and worried I'd be single forever. Finally, God impressed upon me he couldn't answer my prayers if I didn't have faith—the opposite of worry. He didn't promise that he'd answer "yes," just that he'd answer. I took a leap of faith and said, "God, I'm going to trust you know what you're doing. And if that means I never get married, then I'm not going to waste my life worrying about being single." When worry reared its ugly head again, I repeated that prayer. God didn't immediately answer with a "yes." But I discovered the more I prayed that prayer, the more I meant it. God eventually gave me a spouse, but by then I was enjoying my life so much, I'd stopped worrying about my marital status.

 

 

[2] Choose health.
 

Studies show worrying can lead to tension headaches, hypertension, muscle tension, diarrhea, vomiting, sweating, irritability, poor memory, insomnia, and even obsessive-compulsive behavior.

 

Whenever I tense up and feel nauseated, I meditate and breathe deeply. In his book The Anxiety Cure, Christian psychologist Dr. Archibald Hart explains meditation and its benefits as the "literal embodiment of Psalm 46:10, 'Be still, and know that I am God.' … It is all about worship, a devotional act" of imagining "Jesus standing in front of you, beckoning you to hand over all that bothers you." Then I "select an attribute of God and focus on it. His love, compassion, grace."

 

I also exercise to combat the physical effects of worry. When I'm exercising, I can think only about breathing. After all, who has time to worry when you're just trying to huff and puff around the track one more time?

 

 

 

[3] Learn to laugh.
 

Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." I realized I needed to lighten up, to force myself to find whatever humor I could, and not take myself so seriously. So what if I messed up and called a coworker the wrong name? So what if I miscalculated the traffic and was late to the business meeting I was leading? I've learned to apologize, laugh about it, and move on. (I use the "I'm blond at the roots" excuse.) By tomorrow, everyone will have forgotten. And if not, it'll make a great story in a year—or ten.

 

 

 

 

4] Practice gratitude.
 

In Philippians 4:6-7, the apostle Paul says, "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he's done. If you do this, you'll experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand" (nlt; italics added).

 

I decided to test this promise one day during a nine-hour road trip. It was raining so hard I couldn't see the pavement. My anxiety meter was running high, so I decided to list aloud all the blessings in my life. The list's length amazed me! Focusing on the positive calmed me enough to think clearly, make wise driving decisions, and actually enjoy the ride. I couldn't control the weather, but I could control my anxiety.

 

 

[5] Acknowledge God's power.
 

1 Peter 5:7 says to give all your worries to God, for he cares about what happens to you. But who is God, really? I tended to make him just a little bigger than I was—until I studied Isaiah 40. God says, "Do you want to know how big I am? Compared to me, people are like grass." With such a big God on my side, why should I worry? Granted, devastation in life does occur. Your family files for bankruptcy, your teenage daughter gets pregnant, your husband dies in a car accident. Those are absolutely times of concern. But they're also times when God reaches out to say, "I'm sovereign. Do you trust me? Allow me to take control." Then he lets you choose.

 

My "worry demon" still rears its head on occasion, but with decreased frequency as I continue to practice biblical principles. Several years ago, when my husband and I were building a house, a carpenter fell two stories and was injured. When I first heard the news he was suing us, I saw us losing everything. But God intervened in my thoughts: Does losing everything matter eternally? Once I realized my attitude and reaction, not my loss, would make an eternal difference, God's indescribable peace flooded me. In the end, we had to pay the worker $35,000. We're still recovering from that financial hit, yet I'm OK. That's what kicking the worry habit can do.

 

During difficult times, I look back over all the other times God's faithfully brought me through worrisome circumstances. If he worked on my behalf then, he'll surely do so again. Just ask my dad—he's living proof.

 

Ginger Kolbaba is Editor of TCW sister publication Marriage Partnership and author of A Matter of Wife and Death (Howard/Simon & Schuster). Visit her website at www.GingerKolbaba.com.

Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today International/Today's Christian Woman magazine.

Two Things Pastors Should Learn from Barack Obama

source: crosswalk

 

Yesterday Barack Obama bowed to inevitable reality and resigned his membership at Trinity United Church in Chicago. He did what he had to do given a) his desire to be president, and b) all the publicity swirling around the controversial statements of his former pastor, Dr. Jeremiah Wright, and last Sunday's guest preacher, Father Michael Pfleger. I do not doubt that it was a very painful decision, and I do not fault him for making it in part for political reasons. Would he have resigned if he were not running for president? One assumes the answer is no, but it doesn't matter. We all have to make tough choices, and in this case he did the political calculus and decided that the price of continued affiliation with the church he attended for more than 20 years was more than he was willing to pay. I don't feel sorry for him, but I don't fault him either. I hope he finds a new church home soon.

 

I can see a small lesson and a larger lesson here for pastors. The small lesson is that in the Internet age, everything we say is being recorded somewhere. There was a time–and it wasn't so long ago–that a pastor could unburden himself to his Wednesday Bible study, knowing that his words were not being recorded and would not show up later on YouTube. I call this the small lesson because it ought to be obvious to all of us that personal privacy is rapidly disappearing. The day is long past when pastors can get away with loose talk or casual jokes or offhand remarks. They can't say, "This is just for the church family," because someone with a cell phone will soon send it around the world.

 

Pastors, take note. If you don't want to see it later on the Internet, don't say it or write it. Anything you say and anything you write can and will be used against you. Barack Obama made that point, he's right, and there's nothing to be done about it.

 

, this whole episode ought to conclusively refute the notion that churches and politics can be completely separated. The moral and spiritual issues of our time are such that you can't be a faithful pastor without offending someone, somewhere, sometime. I don't agree with Jeremiah Wright, but I have no particular problem with him speaking his own convictions to his own congregation. In the days to come evangelical pastors will be speaking out about abortion and gay marriage, especially the latter since the California Supreme Court has put the issue on the front burner. "Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching" (2 Timothy 4:2 NLT). Faithful ministry of the Word always involves both the negative and the positive.

 

In an odd way Barack Obama's resignation proves the point that the church must be the moral conscience of the community. It would be tragic if pastors stopped speaking out on the great issues of the day, even though it means that from time to time you will have to use the word "former" to describe certain prominent church members.

 

Pastors, say what you want, but remember that what draws a loud "Amen!" on Sunday morning may come back to haunt you when it shows up on Fox News. And you may lose some church members as a result.

 

You can reach the author at ray@keepbelieving.com. Click here to sign up for the free weekly email sermon.

news: Steven Curtis Chapman's Daughter Killed in Accident

5-year-old daughter Maria Sue struck and killed Wednesday by a sport utility vehicle at home.
By Andree Farias, from press reports
posted 05/22/08

For those who do not kow yet,here's the article from Christianity Today. Let's be in prayer for the family.

A recent photo of the Chapman family with Steven holding Maria

 

Maria Sue Chapman, Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter, died Wednesday evening from injuries sustained when a sports utility vehicle hit her in the driveway of the family's home near Franklin, Tennessee. She was 5.

 

The girl was struck by a Toyota Land Cruiser driven by one of her teenage brothers around 5:30 p.m., authorities said. The teen's identity was not released.

 

Laura McPherson, a spokesperson for the Tennessee Highway Patrol, told The Tennessean that the girl was airlifted to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital in Nashville, where she was pronounced dead.

 

"It appears to be a terrible accident," McPherson said, adding that no charges are expected.

 

According to the Associated Press, several family members witnessed the accident, but the Tennessean report said only two children saw what happened. McPherson said the entire family was home at the time.

 

"I'm confident I can speak for everyone in the community to say we will do everything we can to support this family, as we would do at any time, but especially at a time like this," Gospel Music Association President John W. Styll told The Tennessean.

 

Maria was Steven and wife Mary Beth Chapman's third adopted daughter and sixth child overall, behind siblings Will Franklin, Caleb, Emily, Shaohannah, and Stevey Joy.

 

Their belief in adoption led the couple to found Shaohannah's Hope in 2000, an organization aimed at helping families facing the financial burden of adopting a child. So far, the charity has assisted thousands of families with grants, according to the nonprofit's Web site.

 

"My heart is just aching for them," said Velvet Kelm, Chapman's publicist.

 

"I don't know of anybody who loves his children more than he does and is so committed to the adoption concept, and to lose one, no matter what the circumstances, is heartbreaking beyond all comprehension," Styll said.

 

In April, Chapman was inducted in the Music City Walk of Fame for more the 20 years in Christian music — a career that has spawned five Grammy awards, 54 Dove awards, 44 No. 1 singles, and more than 10 million albums sold.

 

"There may or may not be issues ahead for us," Mary Beth Chapman told Today's Christian in 2005 about her and her husband's future as adoptive parents. "But even if Shaoey turns 16 and says, 'I hate you, I'm going back to China,' I know God put Shaoey in our lives; God put Stevey Joy here, and God put Maria here. Whether it's all peaches-and-cream or it's miserable, this is God's work."

 

Editor's Note: Steven Curtis Chapman's music has touched millions over the last 20 years, and many of us feel like we've come to know him and his family through his songs and through his consistent witness for Christ. Most can only imagine what the Chapman family is going through right now in the aftermath of such tragedy. The 'who,' 'what,' and 'how' of all this is undoubtedly weighing heavily on their hearts, leading them to wonder 'why' such a thing could happen.

 

As brothers and sisters in Christ, I would encourage you to keep the Chapman family in your prayers as they wrestle with the grief and the guilt stemming from little Maria Sue's accident. Pray especially that they would experience God's peace and comfort at this extremely difficult time.

 

Steven Curtis Chapman's official site is overflowing with traffic from those wishing to express their sympathies. If you'd like to show additional support, consider making a donation to Shaohannah's Hope, the family's foundation promoting the care of orphans from around the world. You can make a donation to the Maria Fund in memory of Maria Chapman by clicking here, or mailing donations to Shaohannah's Hope, c/o The Maria Fund, PO Box 647, Franklin TN, 37065. What better way to remember Maria Sue's life than helping to provide a life for others like herself?

Five steps to overcoming ministry obstacles

by Rick Warren
source: Ministry Toolbox

Ever notice that when God is blessing your ministry the most, troubles follow? Your church is growing, but you desperately need a new building. New people are coming to Christ, but you now need to disciple them. You're tackling some of the greatest evil giants of your community, and now they're starting to tackle back.

Maybe you're feeling like Joshua. As God was leading Israel into one of the greatest eras of its history – the conquest of the Promised Land – Joshua was chosen to lead the charge. Yet in the midst of this great time of success came one of the greatest challenges of his life. There were seven larger and stronger nations already there. If he was going to fulfill God's call on his life, he'd have a big obstacle to overcome first.

That's when God gave Joshua a five-point strategy for success that still works today.

1. Be clear in your direction.

   In the first four verses of Joshua 1, God specifically outlines when and where Joshua is going. He knew exactly what God wanted him to do.

   If you're going to be a leader that God can use, you must first be clear in your direction. I talk to pastors all the time who say, "I really don't know what I want in my ministry." They tend to just drift along. They don't know what they want for their church or family. When you ask them to tell you what their vision is for the church, they respond with something fuzzy and not specific.

   We all need a goal, a dream. But those goals must be clear and specific. Nothing becomes dynamic until it becomes specific. And the more specific you are in your direction, the more you'll find a magnetic pull that'll take you along.

   Every time I've presented Saddleback with a specific goal, the church has responded in a big way. In 2002 when I challenged the church to start 3,000 small groups, it was a nearly impossible goal. I was as specific as I could be, and the church responded. We started more small groups than we ever had before. Two years later I challenged the church to feed every homeless person in Orange County. That's no small task. But Saddleback reached the goal once I made it specific. When you get specific, people get excited.

2. Be confident in your desires.

   Once you know the direction that God wants you to take, you must have the confidence to move ahead. You can't doubt what God's called you to do. Doubt is the opposite of faith. The Bible says, "Whatever is not of faith is sin."

   Once you've set your goal the devil will get you to start questioning it. Is this really God's will? What if I'm wrong? Do I really deserve this? Am I just being selfish or prideful?

   Evidently this was a real problem for Joshua. He lacked confidence. He felt inadequate in his leadership. Sound familiar? I've identified with Joshua many times. God had to keep giving Joshua a pep talk. Four times in Joshua 1, God says, "Be determined and confident."

   Why? It isn't the obstacles that keep you in the desert. It's fear. Fear keeps you from being all that God wants you to be. It's fear that keeps your church from growing how God wants it to grow. You must be confident in your desires.

3. Be committed to your decisions.

   Once you've started, don't look back. Joshua 1:9 says "Do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." God says stick with it. To be a success in life, you must outlast your critics. An oak tree is a little nut that refused to give its ground. Commitment is a key to accomplishment. If you don't have commitment to your ministry, you'll never finish anything.

   What are you committed to? What are you willing to die for? Many people in your church are afraid to commit to anything. They begin one job and when it gets tough, they switch to something else.

   When high achievers make a decision, they die by it. You can't just jump across a canyon with several baby steps. You have to commit yourself to your goal. If you're going to cross a canyon, you've got to go for it with gusto. It won't work until you commit to making it work.

4. Be corrected by your defeats.

   In chapter 1, verse 7, God tells Joshua, "Be strong and courageous. Be careful to obey all the law. Don't turn from it to the right or to the left that you may be successful wherever you go." He tells Joshua not to get sidetracked. When you have a failure, get back on track. Let God's Word help you reorganize your ministry and your priorities. Mistakes are a part of life. You're not perfect. The pencil eraser industry was built on your mistakes. If there weren't such things as mistakes, we wouldn't have any need for erasers.

   The difference between successful and non-successful people is not that successful people don't fail. They do. It's just that successful people learn from their failures. Corrections after defeats are the key to the future. Thomas Edison once said, "Don't call it a failure; call it an education." At Saddleback, our staff is highly educated! We've done more things that didn't work than did. We're not afraid to admit it when we've made a mistake and to learn from it. The road to success is paved with failure. But we've learned from those failures.

   Joshua did too. Remember the story of Ai, the little dinky town that the Israelites came upon after their great victory at Jericho. They'd just taken on the greatest, most fortified city in the land (Jericho) and God had given a tremendous victory. They were getting a little confident and cocky. Then they began to presume upon God's grace. When they had to take the little city of Ai, Joshua said, "Go out with a small battalion of troops." They went out and were absolutely wiped out. When the news came back to Joshua, he threw himself onto the ground and prayed. He asked God what happened.

   God tells him to get up, dust himself off, and get the sin out of the camp. Don't just pray – do something. They later discovered that Achan had stolen three things even though God had said not to take plunder. Because he hid those things, his sin was causing the entire camp to suffer.

   But Joshua had to discover the problem and take appropriate action. He learned by his defeats.

5. Be conscious of God's dependability.

   God promises enormous benefits in his Word as we trust him and follow him. Joshua 1 is full of God's promises. He specifically promises Joshua four things:

   • Power: In verse 5 God says, "No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses so I will be with you. I will never leave you or forsake you." God tells Joshua to trust him and he'll provide all of the power he could ever need.
   • Protection: He tells Joshua that nothing can harm him. In verse 5 he says, "I will never leave you or forsake you." He'll be with him always and protect him.
   • Prosperity: God says in verse 8 "Don't let the book of the law depart from your mouth. Meditate on it day and night. Be careful to obey everything written in it. Then you'll be prosperous and successful." Prosperity is being everything God wants you to be, having God's blessing your life, and using the talents he has given you. God guarantees that you'll have more than you need if you trust in him.
   • Presence: That's the best promise of all. In Joshua 1:9 God says, "I will be with you wherever you go." Many times I've felt lonely in ministry, but God always gives me a new sense of his presence when I trust him.

God wants you to have success in ministry. He may not define it the way you do, but he wants you to have his best. As a pastor or key leader in your church, he wants you to help lead people to tackle the great giants of your community. Follow these five principles and he'll give you everything you need to succeed.

10 Important Educational Activities for Preschoolers

Amelia Harper

source: CW

 

1.  Teach them to say the alphabet.

One of the best ways to do this is by using the old "Alphabet Song." I like to add my own touch to make it more special. (It would never fly in a classroom these days, but that is the beauty of homeschooling.) My kids loved this version:

A-B-C-D-E-F-G. H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P, Q-R-S, T-U-V, W-X, Y and Z;

Now I know my abc's; can I have a hug now, please?

 

2. Recognize a few letters of the alphabet.

Use games and simply point out letters everywhere you go. Children love to learn the letters in their own names.

 

3. Let your children see you read, and read to them often.  

As you read, put your fingers under the words sometimes. This helps children understand the concept of reading from left to right and also helps them learn to associate words on the page with words that you say.

Don't worry if they are not actually reading yet, but if they do pick up a few words, pause and let them read them. When my children learn simple words such as a, an, the, and God, we let them "help" read a verse at devotions. The use of Rebus books is a great way to introduce pre-reading as well. In the text of rebus books, little pictures function in place of certain words (like a picture of a cat instead of a cat). Even nonreaders can "help read" these books. Ask the librarian in your library's children's department to show you where they are. The most important thing is to help them develop the love of reading.

 

4. Teach the shapes and colors.

Shape puzzles are a great way to teach the shapes, such as circle, square, etc. Have your children identify shapes in daily life. Colors are even more fun. I know I will get mail for this, but here is a great way to teach basic colors. Get a bag of M&MS ^® or other colored candies. Let your preschoolers eat the red ones if they pick them out correctly. Then look for the yellow ones, etc. Candy is a great motivator. Also, discuss names of colors as they use crayons. Older siblings are great at teaching this one.

 

5. Teach them to sort objects.

A great many sorting and matching games are out there, but you can do this in real life too. Let them help sort socks. As you unpack groceries, let your preschoolers sort the canned veggies from the canned fruit. Let them sort the M&MS^® by color. (M&MS^® are very educational!)

 

6. Teach them about spatial relationships.

This is a fancy way of saying to teach them concepts such as "over," "under," "in," and "out." An introduction to "opposites" often works well as you teach these concepts. Stuffed animals are great tools with which to teach this skill (e.g., Is Harvey Hare over or under Martha Mouse?).

 

7. Teach them to count to 10.

Again, you will have opportunities to do this every day. "How many plates are on the table? Let's count them!"

 

8. Help your preschoolers develop motor skills.

Throw balls; color with crayons and markers; cut with children's scissors. Many of these simple childhood activities build fine-motor skills that are essential when your child later learns to write.

 

9. Develop a good vocabulary and use it around your kids.

According to the Children's Defense Fund, by the time a child from a middle-class family enters first grade, he has a vocabulary of about 20,000 words. However, a child from a low-class family knows only about 5,000 words.¹ The truth is, class should not matter. If your vocabulary is not large, expand it and talk to your child as you would an adult--within reason.

 

10. Use good grammar around your children.

Many children are handicapped educationally because they did not have good grammar models in the home. You will make the teaching of English so much easier if your child knows what proper grammar sounds like. If you are not sure yourself, then get a book on the topic and learn. Listen to good books on tape, and listen to intelligent, excellent media. You will soon get the hang of it, and your child will too.

 

Footnote:

1.        <http://www.tcf.org/Publications/Education/UniversalPreschool.pdf>

Amelia Harper is a homeschooling mother of five and pastor's wife.  She is the author of Literary Lessons from the Lord of the Rings, a complete one-year literature curriculum for secondary level students.  She is also a freelance writer for newspapers and magazines.  http://www.homescholarbooks.com.  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/MiddleEarthMom

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